Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner. -- Gary Smith

 

"With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity, and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats?" Fernand Mery

 

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. -- Winston Churchill

 

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. -- Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio

 

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." Anonymous

 

"A cat sees no good reason why it should obey another animal, even if it does stand on two legs."--Sarah Thompson

 

"Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place."--Paul Gray

 

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later." Mary Bly

 

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." Albert Schweitzer

 

Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. Joseph Wood Krutch

 

I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul. Jean Cocteau

 

There is, incidently, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person. Dan Greenberg

 

No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch. Leo Dworken

 

Cats can be cooperative when something feels good, which, to a cat, is the way everything is supposed to feel as much of the time as possible. Roger Caras

 

A meow massages the heart. Stuart McMillan

 

Cats are the ultimate narcissists. You can tell this by all the time they spend on personal grooming. Dogs aren't like this. A dog's idea of personal grooming is to roll in a dead fish. James Gorman

 

If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow upon our favorite cat, they, too, would purr. Martin Buxbaum

 

Cats always know whether people like or dislike them. They do not always care enough to do anything about it. Winifred Carriere

 

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence. Will Cuppy

 

The mathematical probability of a common cat doing exactly as it pleases is the one scientific absolute in the world. Lynn M. Osband

 

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well. Missy Dizick

 

How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven. Robert A. Heinlein

 

Cats know how to obtain food without labor, shelter without confinement, and love without penalties. W. L. George

 

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind. Cleveland Amory

 

Two things are aesthetically perfect in the world - the clock and the cat. Emile Auguste Chartier

 

Kittens are born with their eyes shut. They open them in about six days, take a look around, then close them again for the better part of their lives. Stephen Baker

 

A cat has absolute emotional honesty: human beings, for one reason or another, may hide their feelings, but a cat does not. Ernest Hemingway

 

If animals could speak the dog would be a a blundering outspoken fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much. Mark Twain

 

The smallest feline is a masterpiece. Leonardo da Vinci

 

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. Albert Schweitzer

 

You can't own a cat. The best you can do is be partners. Sir Harry Swanson

 

There are no ordinary cats. Colette

 

A cat pours his body on the floor like water. It is restful just to see him. William Lyon Phelps

 

Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them. Jim Davis

 

Her function is to sit and be admired. Georgina Strickland Gates

 

I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through. Jules Verne

 

Of all animals, the cat alone attains to the comtemplative life. He regards the wheel of existence from without, like the Buddha. Andrew Lang

 

There is no more intrepid explorer than a kitten. Jules Champfleury

 

If a cat did not put a firm paw down now and then, how could his human remain possessed. Winifred Carriere

 

One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don't come home at night. Margaret Mead

 

"Even overweight, cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses." - John Weitz

 

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." - Jeff Valdez

 

"People that hate cats will come back as mice in their next life." - Faith Resnick

 

"I put down my book, The Meaning of Zen, and see the cat smiling into her fur as she delicately combs it with her rough pink tongue.

Cat, I would lend you this book to study but it appears you have already read it.

She looks up and gives me her full gaze.

Don't be ridiculous, she purrs, I wrote it.

- from "Miao" by Dilys Laing

 

"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Unknown

 

"The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an axe murderer." --Paula Poundstone

 

"One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives." --Mark Twain

 

"The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it." --Doug Larson

 

"The really great thing about cats is their endless variety. One can pick a cat to fit almost any kind of decor, color, scheme, income, personality, mood. But under the fur, whatever color it may be, there still lies, essentially unchanged, one of the world's free souls." --Eric Gurney

 

"I found out why cats drink out of the toilet. My mother told me it's because the water is cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know that?" --Wendy Liebman

 

"Cats are notoriously sore losers. Coming in second best, especially to someone as poorly coordinated as a human being, grates their sensibility." --Stephen Baker

 

Cats do care. For example they know instinctively what time we have to be at work in the morning and they wake us up twenty minutes before the alarm goes off." --Michael Nelson

 

"It always gives me a shiver when I see a cat seeing what I can't see." --Eleanor Farjeon

 

"The phrase 'domestic cat' is an oxymoron." --George Will

 

"If you yell at a cat, you're the one who is making a fool of yourself." --Unknown

 

"Of all domestic animals the cat is the most expressive. His face is capable of showing a wide range of expressions. His tail is a mirror of his mind. His gracefulness is surpassed only by his agility. And, along with all these, he has a sense of humor." --Walter Chandoha

 

"A dog is like a liberal, he wants to please everybody. A cat doesn't really need to know that everybody loves him." --William Kunstler

 

"An ordinary kitten will ask more questions than any five year old." --Carl Van Vechten

 

"The reason cats climb is so that they can look down on almost every other animal...its also the reason they hate birds." --KC Buffington

 

"Essentially, you do not so much teach your cat as bribe him." --Lynn Hollyn

 

"It is remarkable, in cats, that the outer life they reveal to their masters is one of perpetual boredom." --Robley Wilson, Jr.

 

"Time spent with cats is never wasted." --May Sarton

 

"The furry little buggers cats are just deep, deep wells you throw your emotions into." --Bruce Schimmel

 

"Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause most inconvenience."--Pam Brown

 

"Cats have an infallible understanding of total concentration--and get between you and it."--Arthur Bridges

 

"A kitten is so flexible that she is almost double; the hind parts are equivalent to another kitten with which the forepart plays. She does not discover that her tail belongs to her until you tread on it."--Henry David Thoreau

 

"If the pull of the outside world is strong, there is also a pull towards the human. The cat may disappear on its own errands, but sooner or later, it returns once again for a little while, to greet us with its own type of love. Independent as they are, cats find more than pleasure in our company."--Lloyd Alexander

 

"Cats were put into the world to disprove the dogma that all things were created to serve man."--Paul Gray

 

"Cat said, 'I am not a friend, and I am not a Servant. I am the Cat who walks by himself, and I wish to come into your Cave.'"--Rudyard Kipling, from the "Just-So Stories"

 

"To err is human, to purr is feline." -Robert Byrne

 

"If you want to know the character of a man, find out what his cat thinks of him." -Anonymous

 

If cats could talk, they wouldn't.- Nan Porter

 

Every life should have nine cats.-Anonymous

 

Dogs eat. Cats dine.- Ann Taylor

 

A cat is there when you call her - if she doesn't have something better to do.- Bill Adler

 

Since each of us is blessed with only one life, why not live it with a cat?- Robert Stearns

 

A cat can purr its way out of anything.- Donna McCrohan

 

My cat does not talk as respectfully to me as I do to her.- Colette

 

It is in their eyes that their magic resides.- Arthur Symons

 

A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution.- Hazel Nicholson

 

"Poets generally love cats--because poets have no delusions about their own superiority."--Marion Garretty

 

"I think one reason we admire cats, those of us who do, is their proficience in one-upmanship. They always seem to come out on top, no matter what they are doing--or pretend to do. Rarely do you see a cat discomfited. They have no conscience, and they never regret. Maybe we secretly envy them."--Barbara Webster, from "Creatures and Contentments"

 

"Most cats, when they are Out want to be In, and vice versa, and often simultaneously."--Dr. Louis J. Camuti

 

"Any cat who misses a mouse pretends it was aiming for the dead leaf."--Charlotte Gray

 

"If your cat falls out of a tree, go indoors to laugh."--Patricia Hitchcock

 

French novelist Colette was a firm cat-lover. When she was in the U.S. she saw a cat sitting in the street. She went over to talk to it and the two of them mewed at each other for a friendly minute. Colette turned to her companion and exclaimed, "Enfin! Quelqu'un qui parle francais." (At last! Someone who speaks French!) --Anonymous

 

"A cat isn't fussy--just so long as you remember he likes his milk in the shallow, rose-patterned saucer and his fish on the blue plate. From which he will take it, and eat it off the floor."--Arthur Bridges

 

"It is a very inconvenient habit of kittens (Alice had once made the remark) that whatever you say to them, they /always/ purr."--Lewis Carroll

 

"One small cat changes coming home to an empty house to coming home."--Pam Brown

 

"To some blind souls all cats are much alike. To a cat lover every cat from the beginning of time has been utterly and amazingly unique."--Jenny de Vries

 

"There are people who reshape the world by force or argument, but the cat just lies there, dozing, and the world quietly reshapes itself to suit his comfort and convenience."--Allen and Ivy Dodd

 

"Places to look: behind the books in the bookshelf, any cupboard with a gap too small for any cat to squeeze through, the top of anything sheer, under anything too low for a cat to squash under and inside the piano."--Roseanne Ambrose-Brown

 

"A cat can maintain a position of curled up somnolence on your knee until you are nearly upright. To the last minute she hopes your conscience will get the better of you and you will settle down again."--Pam Brown

 

"Cats like doors left open--in case they change their minds."--Rosemary Nisbet

 

"Many a cat can only be lured in by switching off all the lights and keeping very still. Until the indignant cry of a cat-locked-out comes at the door."--Pam Brown

 

"The trouble with sharing one's bed with cats is that they'd rather sleep on you than beside you."--Pam Brown

 

"A cat allows you to sleep on the bed. On the edge."--Jenny de Vries

 

"People meeting for the first time suddenly relax if they find they both have cats. And plunge into anecdote."--Charlotte Gray

 

"Nobody who is not prepared to spoil cats will get from them the reward they are able to give to those who do spoil them."--Compton MacKenzie

 

"If you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward. You will never get her full confidence again." ~ Mark Twain

 

"It's very hard to be polite if you're a cat." ~ Anonymous

 

"When addressed, a gentleman cat does not move a muscle. He looks as if he hasn't heard." ~ Mary Sarton

 

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." ~ Robert A. Heinlein

 

"A cat is the only domestic animal I know who toilet trains itself and does a damned impressive job of it." ~ Joseph Epstein

 

"I purr, therefore I am." ~ Anonymous

 

"Cats are living adornments." ~ Edwin Lent

 

"What greater gift than the love of a cat?" ~ Charles Dickens

 

"People that don't like cats haven't met the right one yet." ~ Deborah A. Edwards, D.V.M.

 

"I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William." ~ Josh Billings

 

"A cat doesn't know what it wants and wants more of it." ~ Richard Hexem

 

"Although all cat games have their rules and rituals, these vary with the individual player. The cat, of course, never breaks a rule. If it does not follow precedent, that simply means it has created a new rule and it is up to you to learn it quickly if you want the game to continue." ~ Sidney Denham

 

"A cat is never vulgar." ~ Carl Van Vechten

 

"I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute human emotions to our pets." ~ Kinky Friedman

 

"Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance." ~ Dan Greenburg

 

"Cats are successful underachievers. They only need to purr in order to get free food and TLC. What other creature can lay around the house doing nothing beyond purring, and still get free food and TLC?" ~ Jim Aites

 

"Could the purr be anything but contemplative?" ~ Irving Townsend

 

"Cats come and go without ever leaving." ~ Martha Curtis

 

"The way to keep a cat is to try to chase it away." ~ E. W. Howe

 

"Are cats lazy? Well, more power to them if they are. Which one of us has not entertained the dream of doing just as he likes, when and how he likes, and as much as he likes?" ~ Fernand Mery

 

"Artists like cats; soldiers like dogs." ~ Desmond Morris

 

"My cat speaks sign language with her tail." ~ Robert A. Stern

 

"A home without a cat, and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat, may be a perfect home, perhaps; but how can it prove its title?" ~ Mark Twain

 

Another cat? Perhaps. For love there is also a season; its seeds must be resown. But a family cat is not replaceable like a wornout coat or a set of tires. Each new kitten becomes its own cat, and none is repeated. I am four cats old, measuring out my life in friends that have succeeded but not replaced one another." ~ Irving Townsend

 

"A kitten is chiefly remarkable for rushing about like mad at nothing whatever, and generally stopping before it gets there." ~ Agnes Repplier

 

"I am indebted to the species of the cat for a particular kind of honorable deceit, for a great control over myself, for characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long periods of time." ~ Colette

 

"A cat's got her own opinion of human beings. She don't say much, but you can tell enough to make you anxious not to hear the whole of it." ~ Jerome K. Jerome

 

"The whir of a can opener or the bark of an unfamiliar dog...will send even the most deeply dozing cat bounding into the kitchen or under the bed." ~ Barbara L. Diamond

 

If you would know what a cat is thinking about, you must hold its paw in your hand for a long time." ~ Jules Champfleury

 

"If stretching were wealth, the cat would be rich." ~ Unknown

 

"Many cats simply pounce to their own drummers." ~ Karen Duprey

 

"Cats, like butterflies, need no excuse." ~ Robert A. Heinlein

 

"The domestic cat seems to have greater confidence in itself than in anyone else." ~ Lawrence N. Johnson

 

"Any household with at least one feline member has no need for an alarm clock." ~ Louise A. Belcher

 

"Cats conspire to keep us at arm's length." ~ Frank Perkins

 

"Theology is never any help; it is searching in a dark cellar at midnight for a black cat that isn't there. Theologians can persuade themselves of anything." ~ Robert A. Heinlein

 

"When Mother Nature saw fit to remove the tail of the Manx, she left, in place of the tail, more cat." ~ Mary E. Stewart

 

"The way to get on with a cat is to treat it as an equal - or even better, as the superior it knows itself to be." ~ Elizabeth Peters

 

One cat just leads to another." ~ Ernest Hemingway

 

Cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human mind. They realize...that we have an infuriating inability to understand, let alone follow, even the simplest and most explicit of directions." ~ Cleveland Amory

 

"If the claws didn't retract, cats would be like Velcro." ~ Dr. Bruce Fogle

 

"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worth while?" Death thought about it. "Cats," he said eventually, "Cats are nice." ~ Terry Pratchett, Sourcery

 

"The man who carries a cat by the tail learns something that can be learned in no other way." ~ Mark Twain

 

"It doesn't do to be sentimental about cats; the best ones don't respect you for it." ~ Susan Howatch

 

"The cat does not negotiate with the mouse." ~ Robert K. Massie

 

"Cats often devise their own sets of rules that they think we should live by, and they may be quick to chastise us if we fail to adhere to these rules!" ~ Margaret Reister, D.V.M.

 

"At dinner time he would sit in a corner, concentrating, and suddenly they would say, 'Time to feed the cat,' as if it were their own idea." ~ Lilian Jackson Braun

 

"No one shall deny me my own conclusions, nor my cat her reflective purr." ~ Irving Townsend

 

"One of the quickest ways to a cat's brain is through its stomach." ~ Ian Dunbar, Ph.D.

 

"A cat...would check to see if you brought anything to eat, and if not, would turn and walk away, tail held high." ~ Mike Deupree

 

"The cat has always been associated with the moon. Like the moon it comes to life at night, escaping from humanity and wandering over housetops with its eyes beaming out through the darkness." ~ Patricia Dale-Green

 

"The majority of people who still have back doors don't let their cats go through them." ~ Charlene Beane

 

"A cat will assume the shape of its container." ~ Unknown

 

"A cat determined not to be found can fold itself up like a pocket handkerchief if it wants to." ~ Louis J. Camuti, D.V.M.

 

"Surely the cat, when it assumes the meat loaf position and gazes meditatively through slitted eyes, is pondering thoughts of utter profundity..." ~ Mij Colson Barnum

 

"I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night." ~ Maria Corelli

 

"No heaven will not ever be Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me." - Unknown

 

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." - Jeff Valdez

 

"Is it true cats wont stay in a house when it's haunted?" - Jeff Valdez

 

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham

 

"The last thing I would accuse a cat of is innocence." - Edward Paley

 

"Nothing's more playful than a young cat, nor more grave than an old one." - Thomas Fuller

 

"Some cats are blind and stone deaf but ain't no cat wuz ever dumb." - Anthony Henderson Euwer

 

"If a fish is the movement of water embodied, given shape, then a cat is a diagram and pattern of subtle air." - Doris Lessing

 

"God made the cat in order to give man the pleasure of caressing the tiger." - Unknown

 

Dogs have owners, cats have staff." - Unknown

 

"Most of us rather like our cats to have a streak of wickedness. I should not feel quite easy in the company of any cat that walked about the house with a saintly expression" - Beverly Nichols

 

"I don't mind a cat, in its place. But its place is not in the middle of my back at 4 a.m." ~ Maynard Good Stoddard

 

"When you're special to a cat, you're special indeed...she brings to you the gift of her preference of you, the sight of you, the sound of your voice, the touch of your hand." ~ Leonore Fleisher

 

"Do you see that kitten chasing so prettily her own tail? If you could look with her eyes, you might see her surrounded with hundreds of figures performing complex dramas, with tragic and comic issues, long conversations, many characters, many ups and downs of fate." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

"A catless writer is almost inconceivable. It's a perverse taste, really, since it would be easier to write with a herd of buffalo in the room than even one cat; they make nests in the notes and bite the end of the pen and walk on the typewriter keys." ~ Barbara Holland

 

"The great charm of cats is their rampant egotism, their devil-may-care attitude toward responsibility, their disinclination to earn an honest dollar." ~ Robertson Davies

 

"If a cat spoke, it would say things like, 'Hey, I don't see the problem here'." ~ Roy Blount,Jr.

 

"Cats speak a subtle language in which few sounds carry many meanings, depending on how they are sung or purred. 'Mnrhnh' means comfortable soft chairs. It also means fish. It means genial companionship...and the absence of dogs." ~ Val Schaffner

 

"Who hath a better friend than a cat?" ~ William Hardwin

 

"Which is more beautiful--feline movement or feline stillness?" ~ Elizabeth Hamilton

 

"Every dog has his day -- but the nights are reserved for the cats." ~ Unknown

 

Because of our willingness to accept cats as superhuman creatures, they are the ideal animals with which to work creatively. - Roni Schotter

 

His friendship is not easily won but it is something worth having. - Michael Joseph

 

It is impossible for a lover of cats to banich these alert , gentle, and disciminating little friends, who give us just enough of their regard and complaisance to make us hunger for more. - Agnes Repplier

 

My little grandson is a darling, but he can never take the place of my cats. - Anonymous Grandmother

 

Minnaloushe creeps through the grass

Alone, important and wise

And lifts to the changing moon

His changing eyes. - W B Yeats

 

Cats Are Not impure; they keep watch about us. - The Prophet Mohammed

 

I was only a small child when the seeds of cat enchantment were sown within me. - May Eustace

 

Minnaloushe creeps through the grass

Alone, important and wise

And lifts to the changing moon

His changing eyes. - W B Yeats

 

Cats Are Not impure; they keep watch about us. - The Prophet Mohammed

 

I was only a small child when the seeds of cat enchantment were sown within me. - May Eustace

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