101 USES (or thereabouts) FOR A DEAD M-BAG

1. PET BEDS: Stuff old canvas M-Bag with cedar shavings or other material, remove strings and sew the end shut to make cat or dog mattresses. Animals love the scents the bag has accumulated (cedar repels fleas and other vermin). Don’t leave the cord intact as small animals can get a head or leg tangled in it.

2. HANGING PLANTERS: Fill bag with potting soil, pull the drawstring and tie it off at the length desired. Hang it in an appropriate spot on a garden fence, post, or wall, and cut several holes in the bag. Insert flowering or vining plants in the holes. Keep the bag damp and soil moist. You can “beautify” the bag by spray-painting or embellishing it with iron-on appliqués. Be sure paints are non-toxic to your plants

3. CAMPING BAGS: An old canvas M-Bag is a camper’s best friend. It’s wonderful for carrying camping gear. You can also hang food in trees using the strong M-Bag cord if you are camped in bear country. Hang it in your tent for dirty laundry, or near your camp table for collecting trash. It also makes a comfortable cushion or pillow when stuffed with extra or dirty clothing. Don’t leave home without one!

4. DISPOSE OF UNWANTED ITEMS: The M-Bag is especially useful for disposing of questionable items such as old paint cans, a wonked-out washing machine motor, used kitty litter, or dead gophers. Simply put the unwanted items into the bag, tie or padlock the cords so they’re not easily opened, and leave the bag in the driveway or on a porch visible from the street on an evening when you’re going out. Guaranteed someone will steal it and relieve you of your problem trash.

5. TEMPORARY TAPE MEASURE: If you don’t have a tape measure, remove the string from the top of the bag. Mark it off in inch intervals and use it instead.

6. HOME AWAY FROM HOME: Gather a quantity of old canvas M-Bags and sew them together to make a tent.

7. BEACH BAG: Load the kids' beach toys to take to the beach. When ready to go home, reload with the sandy toys. No having to find a water spigot to rinse everything when you are tired and ready to leave.

8. POO-POO BAG FOR PET: Place an M-Bag in a large bucket and use when cleaning the yard with a Pooper Scooper. Or use for “recycled” kitty litter. Or use when cleaning the barn (but you really should compost that stuff.) Or place dead pet in bag, close securely, and leave on the porch as above.

9. GARDEN HOSE STORAGE: Coil your garden hose after thoroughly draining and store over winter in the bag. No more fighting with a contentious snake next

Spring. The hose should be tied in several places before inserting in bag.

9. COLLEGE LAUNDRY BAG: Send the M-Bag off to college with the kid -- perfect for dirty laundry. And when not in use for that it can transport those heavy textbooks. Would also be great for schlepping gear to athletic events. Would save tons of money -- no backpack, no canvas laundry bag and no gym bag to buy!

10. CLOTHING: Whip up a little Canvas M-bag sundress for a little girl. Give her a box of indelible markers, let her decorate it, and you got clothes and entertainment in one fell swoop. Or one swell foop, depending on where the markers wind up.

11. RECREATION: Fill with Styrofoam peanuts from parcels and hang from the ceiling for a punching bag. Or cut a hole in one corner, tie it off with a rubber band, and use it (with rubber band removed) to fill boxes with peanuts. (Otherwise known in the trade as “ghost poo.”)

12. HOME FURNISHING: Remove cord from canvas bag, sew closed and set on floor for beanbag cushion,

13. SPIRITUAL PRACTICE: You might use the cord as an excellent piece of flagellant equipment. If you are a beginner and are not very enthusiastic about flogging yourself with a piece of knotted cord, start by using a couple of bunches of chard. If you are very sensitive, boil chard first.

14. COBWEB REMOVAL : If you have high ceilings festooned with cobwebs, put a little weight in the bag (an old towel or sweatshirt will do nicely), put the strings tight and tie off, then swing the bag over your head and across the ceiling to brush off the webs.